The Official Monster Raving Loony Party Manifesto: Environmental Policies
16. Make Weeding an olympic sport in order to save the 100 year old Manor Garden Allotments from being demolished for the 2012 games.
136. People who drink gin and tonics will not be allowed ice. This will help to preserve the polar ice cap.
137. To make electric cheaper to produce all joggers will be placed in a huge revolving drum linked by a dynamo to the national grid.
139. We will channel all the hot air coming from Parliament into a purpose built Wind farm just off the Coast, so that everyone will have free heating in the winter, and electric fans in the summer.
And here are some from an old manifesto that seem to have been dropped:
All foxes will be issued with sheep’s clothing.
Half the grey squirrel population will be painted red in order to increase the red squirrel population.
All houses built on flood plains will have foundations made of sponge, in order to soak up surplus water.
Fox hunting will be re introduced under the “one hound – one dog” policy to make it a bit fairer.
To solve the increasing obesity problem and global warming, all TVs and home computers must be run only by exercycle generators. A phase-in period of this major remedy will be allowed - maybe 5 to 5m minutes.
Cartoon from Throbgoblins. Click on the panel to read the whole strip.