The Earth spoke out after a series of books, television programmes and environmental campaigns urged people to do everything in their power to 'Save the Planet'.
Earth, 4,000,000,000, said last night: "I'll be absolutely fine, seriously. I might get a bit warmer and a bit wetter, but to be honest, that actually sounds quite nice."
The planet said environmental campaigners should change their slogan from 'Save the Planet' to something more relevant such as 'Save Your Sorry Arse'.
As you may have spotted, the article contains some swearing. That said, if you want to read the whole story it's here: I'LL BE JUST FINE, SAYS PLANET
Cartoon from Throbgoblins. Click the panel to read the whole strip.